center> Why Ian M. is a loser



Frist of all I would like to give you some background on his nicknames. His first nickname is "The Great Mahamper", he is called this because he laughs like a retarded duck and it sounds like MAHAMP some times MAHOMP. His second nickname is "FROMAN 2000", he is called this because up to 2 years ago he had an Afro. His thrid and last nickname is "Urine Man"( Although we shouldn't be calling him a man, because HE HAS NO DICK), he is called this nickname because he smells like piss. We think it's because his toilet flushes into his shower. Now for the reasons why he is a loser. He thinks he is a sex symbol, when in fact he is the symbol for birth control. We did a survey and found out that 98% of the girls in our school find him repulsive, in addition to that most ( closer to all ) said they rather sleep with another female then with Ian. Another reason why Ian is a loser, is that he is a lying peice of dog shit. For example he came to school one day claiming he had a grilfriend, we didn't believe him. So we asked him to bring her to the school dance that was happening that week, he said ok. The day before the dance he says she dumped him, this brings us to a few conclusions:

  1. Even imaginary girls dump Ian
  2. His brother got tired of wearing a wig
  3. His hand got tired
  4. She got back her eyesight
  5. She got hit in the head really fucking hard and it knocked some sense into her

    There are quiet a few of stories about Ian and Dating, I will tell you the best ones. One day the great mahamper comes to school saying he had gone to the movies with a girl. The next day Mathew and James(Twin brothers/guys from school), tell us that one of the girls friends ( the girl that Ian claimed to go out with) told them that her friend was actually disgusted by him and that he tricked her friend into going to the movies with him by telling her friend that the whole chruch group was going and he was just giving her a drive. To her terrible suppirse no one else showed up and she had to spend 2 hours + alone with him.

    Another story is when he was going out with a 12 year old ( he is 15 ) AND SHE STILL FUCKING DUMPED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A FUCKING LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!

    There are more reasons why Ian is a loser then his "dating" history. Some examples are, he is a member of the Full House Fan Club, he says "cool" things like:"cool", "that rocks", "ohhhhh", and "MAHAMP". He also goes to church( I have no problem with that), the loser part is that he also listens to Marylin Mason and other Satanist rock bands. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people that go to church, or people that listen to satanist music, but when you do both it's just fucking stupid. He also thinks he's "extreme", when in fact he is a homo that wears swat gear to walk done stairs. I also suspect that he is gay. The reason I think this is he was play fighting with another guy and he grabbed the guys nuts, not just briefly, but he held them and foundled for a few seconds. The same day he grabbed the same guys ass and held for 10 seconds!!!! WHAT A FUCKING HOMO If you would like to see what a fucking loser he is you can go to his actual website by clicking here.








    I would like to thank Mike for helping me with HTML and for some of the ideas